For those of you new to The Nutshell Version, allow me to fill you in: This Friday, on the 26th of September, year 2014... I will be stepping out of an airborne plane and plummeting 15,000 feet toward the earth. (This is the part where you're supposed to fall over yourself, shrieking and fainting and… Continue reading My Last Will and Testament (you know, in case I die Friday)
Category: Humor
HEY, JK Rowling, stop being such a tyrant.
I'd like to preface this post by saying that I am wholly and completely, absolutely, entirely, all-encompassingly obsessed with Harry Potter. It is, hands down, the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. (Sorry, little sister being born. Sorry, friends and family. Sorry, moving to the best city in the world… Continue reading HEY, JK Rowling, stop being such a tyrant.
Stop calling yourself a grammar nazi.
I wouldn't call myself a grammar nazi. I wouldn't do so, first of all, because I think "grammar nazi" has become synonymous with "homophone nazi." And the whole world has gotten a little homophone-happy in the last couple years. It's like everyone on the internet learned the difference between your and you're on the same day, and after that "grammar nazi-ism"… Continue reading Stop calling yourself a grammar nazi.
Ode to the Potrillos Burrito
Heaven hath no treasure like the Potrillos Burrito, from Los Potrillos in Camas, WA.* There it is. Go ahead, take a moment. Bask in its deliciousness. See that, drizzled all over it? They call this red concoction "our special burrito sauce," which is latin for crack cocaine. This is not enchilada sauce, or salsa, or… Continue reading Ode to the Potrillos Burrito
How Not to Propose to Me
One of the cool things about blogging is that I'm rarely at a loss for post ideas. (...I said rarely, not never.) This is partially because many ideas stem from real-life experiences and conversations... and during these conversations, if I don't immediately recognize it as an opportunity for a blog post, someone else will point it out for… Continue reading How Not to Propose to Me
Just Spit It Out, Would You?
As promised in my last post, today I'd like to write about writing. Since landing my first writing job a few months ago, I've been learning an awful lot about writing lately. So much learning, in fact, that it honestly feels like I'm a new writer every single day. As each day passes, I look at things I wrote yesterday… Continue reading Just Spit It Out, Would You?
Writing About Writing About Writing
When I first started blogging, and specifically when I began reading others' blogs, I remember being surprised how much writing there was out there... about writing. It seemed like for every blog post I came across about someone's childhood, there was another guiding writers how to write a blog post about their childhood. I didn't realize writing about writing was even a thing, and… Continue reading Writing About Writing About Writing
The Seven Deadly Sins of Literature
I did a bad thing last night. It was a thing so dreadfully bad that I'm having to will my fingers to even pound out this confession. My hands are quivering reluctantly over the keyboard, begging me to stop writing this incriminating post. "It's not too late," they tell me. "We can still walk away.… Continue reading The Seven Deadly Sins of Literature
Traffic is our all-powerful overlord and resistance is futile.
Here's a fun fact for your Tuesday: the city of Vancouver, WA has a population of about 160,000 people. 60,000 of them (that's almost 40% of all Vancouver residents) work in Portland....I'm one of them.For those of you who have never travelled to our little corner of the Pacific Northwest, allow me to give you a geography… Continue reading Traffic is our all-powerful overlord and resistance is futile.
Me and Football: A Love Story
Recently on The Nutshell Version, I discussed my hatred of soccer. You might have read that and thought, “Oh, I get it. Susie must be a typical girl who hates all sports.” First of all, you’re a sexist and I don’t like you. But second of all… yes. You’re right. With one major (non-fictional) exception.… Continue reading Me and Football: A Love Story
The Nutshell Version 