What is this? Who are you? What’s happening?
No need to panic – This is a blog. My blog, actually. My name is Susie, and this is where I post incessant ramblings or stories or poems for the world’s entertainment. You can learn more about me on the About page. Or, if you just wanna be BFFs, click here to say hello.
Are you an alien?
I don’t think so.
How did you get started blogging?
I’ve been writing more or less my whole life, starting with journals and and eventually graduating to Myspace bulletins and Facebook notes. Close friends & family always told me to start a blog – so, naturally, I ignored their advice for a full decade and started one juuuuust as the rest of the internet grew bored with the idea.
Why is your blog called “The Nutshell Version?” That makes no sense to me. I’m confused and frustrated.
First maybe we should take some deep breaths; you seem stressed. I came up with “The Nutshell Version” because I’ve always been a little wordy. When I was younger, I was (in)famous for telling very long, drawn-out stories with no minute detail spared. Occasionally, my older brother would interrupt me with a friendly reminder: “SUSIE. Give us the nutshell version.” The idea stuck, so as an ode to my childhood and perpetual verbosity, I made it my blog name.
See? nothing to stress over.
Why are you so obsessed with the Beatles?
I’m not sure that question warrants a response. But I guess this is the FAQ page, so… Because the Beatles are the greatest band to ever live, obviously. Why would you ask me that? I’m insulted. You’re not invited to my birthday party.
Why do you post so inconsistently?
Because, as much as I absolutely adore blogging – I do my best to have a life outside of it. Holing up in my room with my laptop and a blanket for 18 hours sounds like nothing short of Heaven for me… but I’m pretty socially awkward as it is, so doing so would probably be a step in the wrong direction. I have to make time for interactions with other human beings.
Plus, I get paid to write 40 hours a week (which includes blogging), and sometimes I’m just not in the mood to get up from typing at one computer, drive to another location, and sit down to start typing at another. I do try my best to post as frequently as I can, so I hope you’ll forgive me.
I don’t forgive you.
Are you wearing pants?
Do you like sushi?
I love sushi.
I think you’re great. Where can I tell you how much I like your blog?
Aw, shucks! You can visit my Contact page, or shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I hate your blog, and you. Where can I tell you how much you suck?