It's been so long, I don't even know where to start. Part of me is even timid about typing these first few words, because I imagine you all out there with pitchforks and torches - ready to take to the streets and call for my head. Because how dare I just disappear for months on… Continue reading Don’t call it a comeback
GUESS. WHAT. After the next Hunger Games movie comes out, they're going to start releasing prequels so the ADVENTURE ISN'T OVER YET. (In unrelated news: I have the literary and cinematic maturity of a 13-year-old girl.) That's not actually what I was gonna say, though. Guess what else! That's right - this week marks my one-year… Continue reading Throwback Thursday: The Nutshell Version Turns 1!
I'll be honest, you guys. I debated for a long time whether I should write this post. because (a) My family, friends, and coworkers read my blog... and I'm not sure how eager they are to hear of my online dating exploits, and (b) "Online dating exploits" would be one thing, Tinder is another. Up… Continue reading Okay fine let’s talk about Tinder.
To the really solid, upstanding individual who broke into my car this weekend: Hey, you. Good old you. How ya feelin? Is your arm sore, from that rock you hurled through my car window? Any cuts or scrapes from kneeling in glass shards as you rifled through my glove compartment? Did you pull any muscles lifting my… Continue reading Wherefore art thou, Bearded Ryan?
You've heard of Pure Barre. I feel I can safely assume that, because I've heard of Pure Barre, and I'm usually the last person to hear about things. But for those of you still in the dark, Pure Barre is an exercise program created by masochists to torture women under the facade of being a… Continue reading Here Lies Susie, Rest in Peace. Cause of Death: Pure Barre.
I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. Thanks to my recent gypsy-like lifestyle, it was the first one in a looong long time. I wouldn't generally categorize myself as a hypochondriac - but I'll be honest, when you put that much chronological space between trips to the doctor's office, you start to get a little panicky. Every… Continue reading What it feels like when your doctor calls you fat
You may be wondering why my last two posts have been Throwback Thursdays. Or how the Egyptians built the pyramids. Or why Paul Rudd has always been completely overlooked in every discussion of attractive male actors. I mean, RIGHT?! ...What I'm trying to say is, there are a lot of unsolved mysteries in the world. But THIS one,… Continue reading Why They’re Called Best Friends
Tomorrow is my birthday, and I will be 25 years old. Yay, happy birthday to me! I'll be able to rent a car! And get cheaper car insurance! It'll be a really exciting automotive year, no doubt about it. Also, though... at 25, I will officially be (if I haven't been already) in my "mid 20s." I will have… Continue reading Birthday tomorrow, quarterlife crisis today.
I literally have no idea why you're reading this right now. What are you doing, just sitting there reading this blog post, when you could be experiencing the adrenaline-pumping, gut-wrenching ecstasy-inducing thrill that is freefalling from 15,000 feet? STOP READING! GO! Go right now! I jumped out of a plane yesterday. And I did not die.… Continue reading I’M ALIVE!!! And other great things about skydiving
For those of you new to The Nutshell Version, allow me to fill you in: This Friday, on the 26th of September, year 2014... I will be stepping out of an airborne plane and plummeting 15,000 feet toward the earth. (This is the part where you're supposed to fall over yourself, shrieking and fainting and… Continue reading My Last Will and Testament (you know, in case I die Friday)