Saint Teresa of Ávila once wrote about the most difficult challenge during meditation. It wasn't sitting still, or avoiding distractions, or any of the other numerous things that make meditation hard. Instead, she posited, the hard part was to not stir up the intellect. “Once the mind begins to compose speeches and dream up arguments,"… Continue reading A Love Letter to Meditation
I guess the title of this post could just as easily be prefaced with another one: “Surprise! I never finished school” …since it’s not a fact many people know about me. Why would they? I did go to college, at least. I entered college the same way I entered all other education— which is to… Continue reading Surprise! I went back to school.
Some personal background: Until recently I was a registered Independent, but I have voted Democrat in every presidential election since I turned 18. The vast majority of my family is Republican. I was raised in San Diego, a military town. Most of the people to whom I'm related own at least one gun, hate taxes,… Continue reading Okay, friends and family, let’s talk.
The title of this post isn't technically true. I can think of two ex-boyfriends who would be angry with that phrasing. Because yes, technically, I think I did watch Star Wars (at least the first one? Fourth one? Whatever you weirdos call it?) something like 13 years ago with my then-boyfriend who grew up loving… Continue reading On Watching Star Wars for the First Time at Age 30
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write this. I don’t know if there are right and wrong ways to grieve, but I wasn’t sure about this way. I wasn’t sure whether I had any right to make myself a part of her story. I hadn't spoken to her for almost a year - and… Continue reading For Catie, Wherever I May Find Her
It’s after midnight. I have work tomorrow, and yet I can’t sleep. Those facts alone shouldn’t be of interest to anyone; I’m a longtime sufferer of insomnia – and under perfectly normal circumstances, this is what I would be doing any other night of the week. What makes tonight remarkable is that as I was… Continue reading Have you ever seen the rain?
It is July 6th, 2019 - which means I am 29-and-three-quarters years old today. I haven't measured my age in quarter-years since I was a kid, but somehow now it feels significant again. I am not 29 and a half anymore - much less 29. A mere three months separates me from my 30s. That's… Continue reading On Turning 30
If I were to tell anyone in my life that I thought I might be single forever, they would scoff at me. Not in an "I-think-you're-stupid" kind of way, but in an "I-think-you're-stupid-but-only-because-I-love-you-so-much-so-there's-no-possible-way-you'll-end-up-alone-you're-so-wonderful" kind of way. It isn't that I consciously desire isolation. I know we're not supposed to do this thing called life alone.… Continue reading Dating Sucks But Being Single Doesn’t
Well, readers, I have some news! After 10 months of living at home with my parents, I finally saved up enough for a modest down payment and I am - drum roll - PURCHASING my own place!!! I do not exaggerate when I say that I have been waiting for this day my whole life.… Continue reading What it’s Like to Become a Homeowner
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The other night I found myself reading through my old high school journals, and they all started and ended like that: short, clipped sentences, dense and muscular but starved for context. (I think I was reading a lot of Chuck Palahniuk at the time.) “We lost the football game last night,” one… Continue reading On Tomorrows