Dear Time,I would like to thank you, first of all, for everything you've done – for that matter, everything you are. By our very definition, we humans are chaotic and barbaric – and without you, Time, we might give way to our more disorderly nature. You are the train conductor of our lives, tapping your… Continue reading On Train Tracks & Stopwatches
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Liebster Award: I’d Like To Thank The Academy…
Great news, y'all! I've been nominated for a Liebster Award! "But Susie," you might say, "What on Earth is a Liebster Award?" Hey, that's a great question, readers! And one I recently had myself. Turns out it's this remarkably fabulous idea somebody had to help us all expand our blogging network and discover new bloggers! It… Continue reading Liebster Award: I’d Like To Thank The Academy…
Jitters
I hope they like me. I mean, they gave me the job. So of course they like me. Of course they do. Getting the job is the hardest part, and I have the job now, so that means I’m past the hardest part. The part that comes next is the part where I just walk… Continue reading Jitters
An Open Letter to Furniture Manufacturers
Dear Furniture Manufacturers, Hello, my name is Susie. It’s a pleasure to meet you! I would shake your hand, except that my fingers are covered in calluses and blisters. In fact – at a cursory glance, you are probably wondering why I look so beaten up right now. Coincidentally enough, that just so happens to… Continue reading An Open Letter to Furniture Manufacturers
Hello, My Name Is…
Hello, my name is Susie.“Does anyone ever call you Susie Q?”Nope. Nobody, ever, in my entire life. Never. Not once. And by that I mean, yes. Everyone, always. For my entire life. Every time. Susie Q, all day every day, as the nickname-of-choice from every person I’ve ever met – and they always phrase it exactly… Continue reading Hello, My Name Is…
The Power of Paper
This pain is unbelievable. I am not just using this as a figure of speech – I mean I genuinely cannot believe it. This pain defies all logic; it should not exist. It is torture, impossible to believe. Unfathomable. Incomprehensible. This piercing, undiluted agony fogs my mind and clouds my vision. I can no longer… Continue reading The Power of Paper
She’s The Kind of Person Who…
As an English major (which is my blasé way of saying “English fanatic / grammar nut / vocabulary whore / total and absolute geek”), I place a lot of importance on syntax in my everyday life. A few years ago I went on a crusade with my group of friends to encourage us all to switch… Continue reading She’s The Kind of Person Who…
All The Reasons You Should Be Happy Right Now
1. You’re alive. Congratulations, friend! There was a time – a very long time, actually – when you did not exist. But then, like a freaking miracle you thrust your way into the world, and here you are! You were the little sperm who could. And after that, oh how you thrived! You’ve made it… Continue reading All The Reasons You Should Be Happy Right Now
A Ballad of Unfortunate Comparisons
I shouldn’t care if she has flair, or if her hair is curled. I wouldn’t trade my dull and faded looks for all the world. When I walk by, the boys don’t sigh and lean back in their chairs. I shouldn’t care. Her hips sway like a pendulum when she walks down the street, They… Continue reading A Ballad of Unfortunate Comparisons
Confessions of a Middle-Aged Twenty-Something
I’m getting old. I know what you’re going to say, and you’re right. …I should shut the $#%! up. Most of the people with whom I interact on a daily basis are older than I am – and would probably laugh in my face for saying such a thing. I’m only 24, after all. Old age’s… Continue reading Confessions of a Middle-Aged Twenty-Something
The Nutshell Version 