Taylor is at a super important work conference this week, which means I have the house to myself. For other, more functional human beings, this might mean a certain sense of freedom - a refuge from the standard routine and an opportunity to indulge. For non-functional human beings (READ: psychopaths; Susie), this week means obsessive,… Continue reading Why I Should Never Be Left Home Alone
Tag: Humor
Jitters
I hope they like me. I mean, they gave me the job. So of course they like me. Of course they do. Getting the job is the hardest part, and I have the job now, so that means I’m past the hardest part. The part that comes next is the part where I just walk… Continue reading Jitters
An Open Letter to Furniture Manufacturers
Dear Furniture Manufacturers, Hello, my name is Susie. It’s a pleasure to meet you! I would shake your hand, except that my fingers are covered in calluses and blisters. In fact – at a cursory glance, you are probably wondering why I look so beaten up right now. Coincidentally enough, that just so happens to… Continue reading An Open Letter to Furniture Manufacturers
Hello, My Name Is…
Hello, my name is Susie.“Does anyone ever call you Susie Q?”Nope. Nobody, ever, in my entire life. Never. Not once. And by that I mean, yes. Everyone, always. For my entire life. Every time. Susie Q, all day every day, as the nickname-of-choice from every person I’ve ever met – and they always phrase it exactly… Continue reading Hello, My Name Is…
The Power of Paper
This pain is unbelievable. I am not just using this as a figure of speech – I mean I genuinely cannot believe it. This pain defies all logic; it should not exist. It is torture, impossible to believe. Unfathomable. Incomprehensible. This piercing, undiluted agony fogs my mind and clouds my vision. I can no longer… Continue reading The Power of Paper
All The Reasons You Should Be Happy Right Now
1. You’re alive. Congratulations, friend! There was a time – a very long time, actually – when you did not exist. But then, like a freaking miracle you thrust your way into the world, and here you are! You were the little sperm who could. And after that, oh how you thrived! You’ve made it… Continue reading All The Reasons You Should Be Happy Right Now
Confessions of a Middle-Aged Twenty-Something
I’m getting old. I know what you’re going to say, and you’re right. …I should shut the $#%! up. Most of the people with whom I interact on a daily basis are older than I am – and would probably laugh in my face for saying such a thing. I’m only 24, after all. Old age’s… Continue reading Confessions of a Middle-Aged Twenty-Something
What Would You Like To Do, Susie?
When it comes to stuff that matters, I am a decision-making queen. At work, if you need someone be clear-minded and decisive, I’m your girl. In sales, I can quote rates confidently and immediately. In management, I could pull the trigger on any operational decision that needed making. If coming to a conclusion is important… Continue reading What Would You Like To Do, Susie?
How To Be Weird (And Other Workplace Dilemmas)
As I may have mentioned, I recently moved to the Portland area and have been searching for a new job. But what I have not yet mentioned is that after a month and a half of sending out my resume and starting to seriously consider becoming a professional dog walker, I FINALLY FOUND ONE. That’s… Continue reading How To Be Weird (And Other Workplace Dilemmas)
Motivation
Motivation is a sly, elusive little scoundrel. Sometimes I get it in big spurts, and suddenly I find myself completing 100 different tasks I didn’t even realize needed doing… and the world seems like this really manageable place where anything can be achieved with enough elbow grease and a positive attitude. But other times, motivation… Continue reading Motivation
The Nutshell Version 