Sit down boys and girls, and I’ll tell you a tale.
About taxes, adulthood, and thinking things through.
Take heed of the dangers of snacking and snail mail!
Kids, I spilled guacamole on my W-2.
The IRS website was awfully picky
On page order, staples, and what to include.
So getting it perfect is terribly tricky –
Even when not eating Mexican food.
But I still looked for something to eat at the time
And the bag was right there on the shelf…
The dip was just perfect, with onions and lime,
And the chips were as salty as Redbeard himself.
As I lifted the chip to my mouth for a bite,
A chunk of guac started to drop.
It sailed to the tax return – a perilous flight,
And stuck to the paper with an audible plop.
I tried with my finger to wipe off the green,
Then the goopy stuff started to run.
I ran to the kitchen to get the thing clean…
But the damage was already done.
It’s amazing that people like me still exist
With instructions so clear and explicit.
But now I’m awaiting a slap on the wrist –
And the taxman to pay me a visit.
I picture him knocking, all rigid and stern,
And addressing me calmly and slowly –
“Ma’am, there was a problem with your tax return…
This here – is this guacamole?”
So learn from me, children, and make no mistake –
That this, too, could happen to you.
A cautionary tale does my carelessness make.
Kids: Don’t spill guacamole on your W-2.